Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Suicide or Homicide.

Do you know the main difference between a white man and blackwoman. I mean apart from the fact of the differences in skin colour,blushing,poverty… mode of having sex etc.etc. Yeah apart from this,, there is also another significant difference,. Let me tell you,

Whites commit suicide and blacks homicide. Think about it!

No black person, be they African, African American, Blacktino or Chinegro ever die on their own.

In Africa no person ever die on their own. They are always murdered by somebody. Even a 99 year old sick woman dies because of a witch or wizard in the family who wants to settle a stone age family feud..

In America, blacks die and there is a huge conspiracy!. Think Tupac, Biggie Smalls.
Compare and contrast Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley, both stars in their own right, they die in the twilight of their careers. Cause of murder? MJ’s was a homicide, Elvis suicide.

Shit how many blacks commit suicide. Behind every black suicide there is a murderer waiting to be found.

Friday, 21 August 2009

Living in Ghana.-Do's and donts.

A friend of mine was visiting Accra and asked me for some tips on life in Accra. Below are some of the advice I offered.

1. Ghanaians eat a lot of meat (or sorry chicken). Usually when a Ghanaian says meat he/she is actually referring to chicken. And when he/she says chicken, it is meant 1 out of 3 parts of the chicken wing.

2. When offered meat (usually goat/cow meat) Don’t be surprised if happen to find the skin (and some fur of the goat) along with the meat. Be polite for your Ghanaian host is doing you a big favour!. In actual fact the skin (wele) is considered a delicacy in Ghana. Other people wear animal skin, Ghanaians chew animal skin. There is a whole wele industry in Ghana, whose main function is to roll the skin from the meat and sell to folks around the country. Try it and you’ll never buy PK again.

3. PK- You will hear this initials being hollered by hawkers along the streets of Accra. This is a popular chewing gum produced by Wrigleys Company in the UK. It’s usually sold by people between the ages of 0- 25. PK is not the only product these hawkers sell, on their head they carry, plantain chips, on their backs is toilet roll (-you never know when! ), in their other hand are some tiny apples. A few meters back from the street are some pirated movies of the latest Hollywood blockbusters to be released in 2 years time. If you don’t chew PK you will certainly get something to buy from these hawkers.

4. As we are on the road let me just explain a few details, if you happen to drive in Ghana, know this that, laissez faire is the popular mode of driving in Accra. You can break a lot of rules whilst driving but get this, never cross a red traffic light. You can do all things, such as go on a 50 meter reverse on a highway, etc but never cross a red traffic light. The police stations in Ghana are so small that usually the some policemen try to catch some “shade” from the scorching heat by sitting on their motor bikes under the “shadeless” traffic light. Hence be your innocent self when you get to traffic lights. If you break any rule, your cash will .....

Ghana is on the left hand drive but don’t be surprised if you find another car coming exactly opposite you on the road. Probably he’s seen no police man around and just trying to dodge traffic. If you are also in a hurry, make a quick turn and follow this daring driver.
2 b cont'd.

Friday, 14 August 2009

Second Hand Clothing in Ghana

The number one distinguishing feature of second hand clothing in Ghana is the smell. It used to be the price, but currently one can’t tell the difference anymore between, second hand clothing and brand new clothing. They are both very expensive now, the cloth dealers are now also pegging their prices to the dollar. This means that one does not necessarily ought to have a PhD in tight monetary policy to understand foreign exchange depreciation.

For those unaware, second clothing shipped to Ghana all have a unique distinct smell. A sort of indescribable tingy smell you never smell anywhere else. Yes for over 3 or so decades the second hand clothing in Ghana all have this unique smell. This scent is not washed away easily. And especially for those who do not want to be associated with wearing second hand clothing this could prove to be quite embarrassing to them. Because the scent is so recognisable by everybody, even those who claim they’ve never worn one of these second hands.(hmm I wonder how they got to know)). So when one gets a first class selection of second hands (usually from Kant or TS) the first thing which comes to mind is the cleansing aspect. You get home and try it on again in a full length mirror to see how well it fits.(Because second hand dealers have no business for trying it on- you buy based on your gut instincts alone).’caveat emptor’- It’s a buyer beware sort of thing. You pray it fits well or it doesn’t have a fault which have been cleverly hidden from you by the seller.. yes they can do this very well and you’d ask yourself how come you never saw the flaw at the time of sale.))

After a couple of fashion critics at home agree with you that this is definitely a good fit of “London wear”, you go a get a bucket and strong home washing detergent to do a thorough washing till all traces of that second hand aroma is done with.

Very often after all omo, key soap , first and second washing and the smell/odour still remains. Show me a longer lasting perfume and I’ll buy it. After, you have to dry the clothes in a well ventilated area for the African sun to do its job. Mind you its only a second hand with less than half a life- if care is not taken, in the attempt to get rid of the odour, the life of the second hand attire will give up. So you don’t wash it too much..

Another way of getting rid of this unwashable smell is simply to wear it, yes it works, just put it on at home for a day or 2 before you do the washing, it makes it more simpler.

By the way can you imagine if someone decides to change this second hand smell/odour/scent? I bet it would not be the same anymore wearing them. It would be the end of an era, how would you know that what you are buying is actually from Yankee/London and not from China or those Togo cheap-fake-imitation- last only 1 week shada?