Do you know the main difference between a white man and blackwoman. I mean apart from the fact of the differences in skin colour,blushing,poverty… mode of having sex etc.etc. Yeah apart from this,, there is also another significant difference,. Let me tell you,
Whites commit suicide and blacks homicide. Think about it!
No black person, be they African, African American, Blacktino or Chinegro ever die on their own.
In Africa no person ever die on their own. They are always murdered by somebody. Even a 99 year old sick woman dies because of a witch or wizard in the family who wants to settle a stone age family feud..
In America, blacks die and there is a huge conspiracy!. Think Tupac, Biggie Smalls.
Compare and contrast Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley, both stars in their own right, they die in the twilight of their careers. Cause of murder? MJ’s was a homicide, Elvis suicide.
Shit how many blacks commit suicide. Behind every black suicide there is a murderer waiting to be found.
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
Friday, 21 August 2009
Living in Ghana.-Do's and donts.
A friend of mine was visiting Accra and asked me for some tips on life in Accra. Below are some of the advice I offered.
1. Ghanaians eat a lot of meat (or sorry chicken). Usually when a Ghanaian says meat he/she is actually referring to chicken. And when he/she says chicken, it is meant 1 out of 3 parts of the chicken wing.
2. When offered meat (usually goat/cow meat) Don’t be surprised if happen to find the skin (and some fur of the goat) along with the meat. Be polite for your Ghanaian host is doing you a big favour!. In actual fact the skin (wele) is considered a delicacy in Ghana. Other people wear animal skin, Ghanaians chew animal skin. There is a whole wele industry in Ghana, whose main function is to roll the skin from the meat and sell to folks around the country. Try it and you’ll never buy PK again.
3. PK- You will hear this initials being hollered by hawkers along the streets of Accra. This is a popular chewing gum produced by Wrigleys Company in the UK. It’s usually sold by people between the ages of 0- 25. PK is not the only product these hawkers sell, on their head they carry, plantain chips, on their backs is toilet roll (-you never know when! ), in their other hand are some tiny apples. A few meters back from the street are some pirated movies of the latest Hollywood blockbusters to be released in 2 years time. If you don’t chew PK you will certainly get something to buy from these hawkers.
4. As we are on the road let me just explain a few details, if you happen to drive in Ghana, know this that, laissez faire is the popular mode of driving in Accra. You can break a lot of rules whilst driving but get this, never cross a red traffic light. You can do all things, such as go on a 50 meter reverse on a highway, etc but never cross a red traffic light. The police stations in Ghana are so small that usually the some policemen try to catch some “shade” from the scorching heat by sitting on their motor bikes under the “shadeless” traffic light. Hence be your innocent self when you get to traffic lights. If you break any rule, your cash will .....
Ghana is on the left hand drive but don’t be surprised if you find another car coming exactly opposite you on the road. Probably he’s seen no police man around and just trying to dodge traffic. If you are also in a hurry, make a quick turn and follow this daring driver.
2 b cont'd.
1. Ghanaians eat a lot of meat (or sorry chicken). Usually when a Ghanaian says meat he/she is actually referring to chicken. And when he/she says chicken, it is meant 1 out of 3 parts of the chicken wing.
2. When offered meat (usually goat/cow meat) Don’t be surprised if happen to find the skin (and some fur of the goat) along with the meat. Be polite for your Ghanaian host is doing you a big favour!. In actual fact the skin (wele) is considered a delicacy in Ghana. Other people wear animal skin, Ghanaians chew animal skin. There is a whole wele industry in Ghana, whose main function is to roll the skin from the meat and sell to folks around the country. Try it and you’ll never buy PK again.
3. PK- You will hear this initials being hollered by hawkers along the streets of Accra. This is a popular chewing gum produced by Wrigleys Company in the UK. It’s usually sold by people between the ages of 0- 25. PK is not the only product these hawkers sell, on their head they carry, plantain chips, on their backs is toilet roll (-you never know when! ), in their other hand are some tiny apples. A few meters back from the street are some pirated movies of the latest Hollywood blockbusters to be released in 2 years time. If you don’t chew PK you will certainly get something to buy from these hawkers.
4. As we are on the road let me just explain a few details, if you happen to drive in Ghana, know this that, laissez faire is the popular mode of driving in Accra. You can break a lot of rules whilst driving but get this, never cross a red traffic light. You can do all things, such as go on a 50 meter reverse on a highway, etc but never cross a red traffic light. The police stations in Ghana are so small that usually the some policemen try to catch some “shade” from the scorching heat by sitting on their motor bikes under the “shadeless” traffic light. Hence be your innocent self when you get to traffic lights. If you break any rule, your cash will .....
Ghana is on the left hand drive but don’t be surprised if you find another car coming exactly opposite you on the road. Probably he’s seen no police man around and just trying to dodge traffic. If you are also in a hurry, make a quick turn and follow this daring driver.
2 b cont'd.
Friday, 14 August 2009
Second Hand Clothing in Ghana
The number one distinguishing feature of second hand clothing in Ghana is the smell. It used to be the price, but currently one can’t tell the difference anymore between, second hand clothing and brand new clothing. They are both very expensive now, the cloth dealers are now also pegging their prices to the dollar. This means that one does not necessarily ought to have a PhD in tight monetary policy to understand foreign exchange depreciation.
For those unaware, second clothing shipped to Ghana all have a unique distinct smell. A sort of indescribable tingy smell you never smell anywhere else. Yes for over 3 or so decades the second hand clothing in Ghana all have this unique smell. This scent is not washed away easily. And especially for those who do not want to be associated with wearing second hand clothing this could prove to be quite embarrassing to them. Because the scent is so recognisable by everybody, even those who claim they’ve never worn one of these second hands.(hmm I wonder how they got to know)). So when one gets a first class selection of second hands (usually from Kant or TS) the first thing which comes to mind is the cleansing aspect. You get home and try it on again in a full length mirror to see how well it fits.(Because second hand dealers have no business for trying it on- you buy based on your gut instincts alone).’caveat emptor’- It’s a buyer beware sort of thing. You pray it fits well or it doesn’t have a fault which have been cleverly hidden from you by the seller.. yes they can do this very well and you’d ask yourself how come you never saw the flaw at the time of sale.))
After a couple of fashion critics at home agree with you that this is definitely a good fit of “London wear”, you go a get a bucket and strong home washing detergent to do a thorough washing till all traces of that second hand aroma is done with.
Very often after all omo, key soap , first and second washing and the smell/odour still remains. Show me a longer lasting perfume and I’ll buy it. After, you have to dry the clothes in a well ventilated area for the African sun to do its job. Mind you its only a second hand with less than half a life- if care is not taken, in the attempt to get rid of the odour, the life of the second hand attire will give up. So you don’t wash it too much..
Another way of getting rid of this unwashable smell is simply to wear it, yes it works, just put it on at home for a day or 2 before you do the washing, it makes it more simpler.
By the way can you imagine if someone decides to change this second hand smell/odour/scent? I bet it would not be the same anymore wearing them. It would be the end of an era, how would you know that what you are buying is actually from Yankee/London and not from China or those Togo cheap-fake-imitation- last only 1 week shada?
For those unaware, second clothing shipped to Ghana all have a unique distinct smell. A sort of indescribable tingy smell you never smell anywhere else. Yes for over 3 or so decades the second hand clothing in Ghana all have this unique smell. This scent is not washed away easily. And especially for those who do not want to be associated with wearing second hand clothing this could prove to be quite embarrassing to them. Because the scent is so recognisable by everybody, even those who claim they’ve never worn one of these second hands.(hmm I wonder how they got to know)). So when one gets a first class selection of second hands (usually from Kant or TS) the first thing which comes to mind is the cleansing aspect. You get home and try it on again in a full length mirror to see how well it fits.(Because second hand dealers have no business for trying it on- you buy based on your gut instincts alone).’caveat emptor’- It’s a buyer beware sort of thing. You pray it fits well or it doesn’t have a fault which have been cleverly hidden from you by the seller.. yes they can do this very well and you’d ask yourself how come you never saw the flaw at the time of sale.))
After a couple of fashion critics at home agree with you that this is definitely a good fit of “London wear”, you go a get a bucket and strong home washing detergent to do a thorough washing till all traces of that second hand aroma is done with.
Very often after all omo, key soap , first and second washing and the smell/odour still remains. Show me a longer lasting perfume and I’ll buy it. After, you have to dry the clothes in a well ventilated area for the African sun to do its job. Mind you its only a second hand with less than half a life- if care is not taken, in the attempt to get rid of the odour, the life of the second hand attire will give up. So you don’t wash it too much..
Another way of getting rid of this unwashable smell is simply to wear it, yes it works, just put it on at home for a day or 2 before you do the washing, it makes it more simpler.
By the way can you imagine if someone decides to change this second hand smell/odour/scent? I bet it would not be the same anymore wearing them. It would be the end of an era, how would you know that what you are buying is actually from Yankee/London and not from China or those Togo cheap-fake-imitation- last only 1 week shada?
Monday, 15 June 2009
Bad stories
In Ghana and lots of places in Africa we hear lots of stories growing up. These stories usually end with a lesson or a moral. One of the very popular stories I used to hear ends like this… at the end of the journey, the old lady wanted to reward the twins-Kwaku and Kwesi for their tiring efforts, so she asked them to go to a dark room and pick from a choice of drums.
On reaching the room Kwaku saw lots of drums of various sizes. Very big drums to the smallest of drums. Kwaku went for the big one. When he went home a lion came out from the drum and ate Kwaku. His brother on the other hand, picked the smallest drum- he was rewarded with plenty gold and a beautiful princess.
What sort of crap and b..s is this? See the sort of generation stories like these have turned us into. We think being poor is good- mediocrity is a daily bread.
I will make sure my kids never get to hear this kind of story. When they are faced with a choice of drums I want them to pick the smallest one…no..oh sorry the biggest there is. There is nothing greedy in a making a wise decision.
On reaching the room Kwaku saw lots of drums of various sizes. Very big drums to the smallest of drums. Kwaku went for the big one. When he went home a lion came out from the drum and ate Kwaku. His brother on the other hand, picked the smallest drum- he was rewarded with plenty gold and a beautiful princess.
What sort of crap and b..s is this? See the sort of generation stories like these have turned us into. We think being poor is good- mediocrity is a daily bread.
I will make sure my kids never get to hear this kind of story. When they are faced with a choice of drums I want them to pick the smallest one…no..oh sorry the biggest there is. There is nothing greedy in a making a wise decision.
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Humour Line
Agbala advanced technology
This is the internet age. Conducting business has never been easier and economical.--ask the sakawa boys!
Some members of the agbala –(the Indigenous afro-tech-community have come together to harness mobile phones and broadband technology.) at a recent meeting sent out a communiqué from V-valley-(yes our own Silicon Valley)
From now on, when you need a ‘’business’’ done-(as in get quick money, win an election, stop your second hand car from giving you problems, prevent world petrol price increase, or halt slide of new cedi against the yen etc.) you don’t need to travel far any more. No need to trek across dangerous jungle terrain to see your favourite agbala man/woman. Technology has brought solution to your finger tips. All you need to do is to text your name, age and address. Next you text the scratch cards (pay as you go mobile top-ups) equivalent of 2 goats, chicken and corn dough (or whatever you are charged ) to the agbala.
Alternatively you can send an e-mail to agbala.quickersolutions@myproblemssolved. Include an attachment of your problem. But please your attachment has to be in pdf only .-don’t ask me why-the communiqué said nothing about it.
Sit back and hopefully your second hand car will stop the intermittent breakdowns.
This is the internet age. Conducting business has never been easier and economical.--ask the sakawa boys!
Some members of the agbala –(the Indigenous afro-tech-community have come together to harness mobile phones and broadband technology.) at a recent meeting sent out a communiqué from V-valley-(yes our own Silicon Valley)
From now on, when you need a ‘’business’’ done-(as in get quick money, win an election, stop your second hand car from giving you problems, prevent world petrol price increase, or halt slide of new cedi against the yen etc.) you don’t need to travel far any more. No need to trek across dangerous jungle terrain to see your favourite agbala man/woman. Technology has brought solution to your finger tips. All you need to do is to text your name, age and address. Next you text the scratch cards (pay as you go mobile top-ups) equivalent of 2 goats, chicken and corn dough (or whatever you are charged ) to the agbala.
Alternatively you can send an e-mail to agbala.quickersolutions@myproblemssolved. Include an attachment of your problem. But please your attachment has to be in pdf only .-don’t ask me why-the communiqué said nothing about it.
Sit back and hopefully your second hand car will stop the intermittent breakdowns.
Friday, 15 May 2009
Woes of a hiker.
Growing up in Ghana, I never really understood why summer time was so often mentioned in western pop songs as. 1. ''We are going on summer holidae'' 2. ''Summer time and your mama is good looking''.
Having gone through the terrible weather in London I now understood why there was so much fuss about summer.
Summer is sunny and green , the earth seem to be alive all of a sudden.
Anyway in search of something to do last weekend I looked around for new thing to do.(ie in keeping with my mantra of never staying at home over the weekend ever except in sickness) I decided to go a walking adventure with some friends.
On the website it was listed as being 20 miles and strenuous. I knew 20 miles was long but had no idea how it was that long.In Ghana we measure distance in time. Oh is it far ... noooo its 20 minutes drive from Sankara Circle (this 20 mins does not specify whether there is traffic or not).
Even if it is long I am from Ghana and I walk (okay I used to walk a lot) esp. in Uni. - hiking from the Great Hall to Bush canteen is not exactly on a walkers trail especially with the prospect of hot steamy delicious banku urging me on but it did give my feet something to t/walk about.
Being conscious of time I arrived early at the embarking point in my fake hiking attire ( boots (wrong kind),packed bag with lunch and jeans(wrong kind). I realised my wrong attire only after the other hikers in the group started arriving. But I was lucky because the rain did not fall and we enjoyed fairly good sunshine. Otherwise I was told I would have looked looking like a wet dog looking for its owner after a few showers. By the way whilst still waiting for the other members to turn up, I noticed a Debenhams store nearby was running a sales. I quickly rushed in a saw some nice khaki trousers/pants at a really affordable price (cheap paa) I had to take a good look at it b4 buying it ''2 good to be tru''. So if you see me next time donning some nice khaki you know where I got it from.
To say the least it was a long journey. 20 miles is 20 miles. The walk lasted from 10:30 am to 7:30 pm. with a 1 hour stop in between for lunch. My feet nearly gave up on me but I persevered till the end. It was a long along the end of the Thames with some detours to the country side, we finished in Rochester which happened to have a medieval castle and also was the home of Charles Dickens and most importantly happened to host good pub """hmmm!!!.
It was a tiring journey . Spent half of Sunday in bed. But my... it was well worth it,, various scenes along the journey from country side views to coastal scenes to some abondoned forts and World War 2 bunkers( part of the English preparation of a Nazi attack up the Thames during the world war).
Met some great people on the walk too. It was a long walk so in between taking pictures, ''refuelling'', or thinking of sore toes we interacted a lot. Met a volunteer who had just returned from Ghana on a 3 month assignment.We had an interesting chat along the way. Join me next time as I give you a narrative and her interesting views on Ghana and its people.
Please as usual accept and correct any spelling and grammatical errors.Leave your comments if you please.
Having gone through the terrible weather in London I now understood why there was so much fuss about summer.
Summer is sunny and green , the earth seem to be alive all of a sudden.
Anyway in search of something to do last weekend I looked around for new thing to do.(ie in keeping with my mantra of never staying at home over the weekend ever except in sickness) I decided to go a walking adventure with some friends.
On the website it was listed as being 20 miles and strenuous. I knew 20 miles was long but had no idea how it was that long.In Ghana we measure distance in time. Oh is it far ... noooo its 20 minutes drive from Sankara Circle (this 20 mins does not specify whether there is traffic or not).
Even if it is long I am from Ghana and I walk (okay I used to walk a lot) esp. in Uni. - hiking from the Great Hall to Bush canteen is not exactly on a walkers trail especially with the prospect of hot steamy delicious banku urging me on but it did give my feet something to t/walk about.
Being conscious of time I arrived early at the embarking point in my fake hiking attire ( boots (wrong kind),packed bag with lunch and jeans(wrong kind). I realised my wrong attire only after the other hikers in the group started arriving. But I was lucky because the rain did not fall and we enjoyed fairly good sunshine. Otherwise I was told I would have looked looking like a wet dog looking for its owner after a few showers. By the way whilst still waiting for the other members to turn up, I noticed a Debenhams store nearby was running a sales. I quickly rushed in a saw some nice khaki trousers/pants at a really affordable price (cheap paa) I had to take a good look at it b4 buying it ''2 good to be tru''. So if you see me next time donning some nice khaki you know where I got it from.
To say the least it was a long journey. 20 miles is 20 miles. The walk lasted from 10:30 am to 7:30 pm. with a 1 hour stop in between for lunch. My feet nearly gave up on me but I persevered till the end. It was a long along the end of the Thames with some detours to the country side, we finished in Rochester which happened to have a medieval castle and also was the home of Charles Dickens and most importantly happened to host good pub """hmmm!!!.
It was a tiring journey . Spent half of Sunday in bed. But my... it was well worth it,, various scenes along the journey from country side views to coastal scenes to some abondoned forts and World War 2 bunkers( part of the English preparation of a Nazi attack up the Thames during the world war).
Met some great people on the walk too. It was a long walk so in between taking pictures, ''refuelling'', or thinking of sore toes we interacted a lot. Met a volunteer who had just returned from Ghana on a 3 month assignment.We had an interesting chat along the way. Join me next time as I give you a narrative and her interesting views on Ghana and its people.
Please as usual accept and correct any spelling and grammatical errors.Leave your comments if you please.
Thursday, 7 May 2009
On your way to church
It is Sunday, the sun is way out too early, the birds are chirping something which sounds like its 6’oclock its 6 o’clock (repeats), you pull your neck out from the blanket and take a quick look the birthday or funeral gift of a ‘’Cetezin’’ wall clock .. ohh yes its 6’oclock. You quickly get up and start the morning rituals which countless people all over Ghana and Africa engage in every morning. You do your part as a Ghanaian. Scoop some water , brush, water again wash wash and you are ready to hit the road.
So whichever route is your preferred choice you make your way to church, lets call it Holy Fire Evangelistic Praying and Crouching Warriors. HFE for short. (note I am not referring to the real one – ohh yes! there is a church which goes by this name-just Google and see). They got their name because of the way their Chief Executive Pastor-CEP stands, bends and stoops, (as seen in the Chinese movie , ‘’eagle in the monkey shadow’’) when praying. Experience has shown this mode of praying yields rapid results. New members quickly have to learn it if they want similar results.
Oh by the way there are 2 churches close by your house. But no, you don’t attend those ones. One they disturb the area too much with their all night meetings held from their 2 by 4 feet verandah. You certainly don’t want the church to grow big by becoming a member and contributing to the Church Building Committee funds. Certainly no, you’d pray they never meet their harvest target. A big church would cause too much noise. Secondly as Jesus said, a prophet is least regarded in his own home. So you go to a prophet who is far away across town. AS you make your way there you see countless others making their way over to your area church, in their brightly colored Sunday attires. Let them come, I will go ‘’you say to yourself’’.
There’s lots on your mind now, most of it has to do with money matters. It is Ghana, money rules, you either got it or doing your best to get some of it. Or even complaining of a rich relative who has got it, but is unwilling to share the sweat of his hard earned money!. Numerous stuffs going on in your head but before you could fully digest it, the fervent ‘’jama’’ song from the praise singers get to you ears. Meaning you have arrived at the church. Your church is equally as noisy to the neighbours as the one in your area. But that is none of your…..
Outside, there are lots of cars parked. The Nissan terrano 11 is there, an old Datsun taxi and lots more of Opel Astras. You would one day get your own car parked there. One day is not far away, when the harvest would not proceed without your chairmanship, when the Osofo would know you by your first name and mention you in his anecdotes… ‘’I was in Atikes house and the way hugged his wife showed they have been attending my marriage seminars’’
To be continued.
So whichever route is your preferred choice you make your way to church, lets call it Holy Fire Evangelistic Praying and Crouching Warriors. HFE for short. (note I am not referring to the real one – ohh yes! there is a church which goes by this name-just Google and see). They got their name because of the way their Chief Executive Pastor-CEP stands, bends and stoops, (as seen in the Chinese movie , ‘’eagle in the monkey shadow’’) when praying. Experience has shown this mode of praying yields rapid results. New members quickly have to learn it if they want similar results.
Oh by the way there are 2 churches close by your house. But no, you don’t attend those ones. One they disturb the area too much with their all night meetings held from their 2 by 4 feet verandah. You certainly don’t want the church to grow big by becoming a member and contributing to the Church Building Committee funds. Certainly no, you’d pray they never meet their harvest target. A big church would cause too much noise. Secondly as Jesus said, a prophet is least regarded in his own home. So you go to a prophet who is far away across town. AS you make your way there you see countless others making their way over to your area church, in their brightly colored Sunday attires. Let them come, I will go ‘’you say to yourself’’.
There’s lots on your mind now, most of it has to do with money matters. It is Ghana, money rules, you either got it or doing your best to get some of it. Or even complaining of a rich relative who has got it, but is unwilling to share the sweat of his hard earned money!. Numerous stuffs going on in your head but before you could fully digest it, the fervent ‘’jama’’ song from the praise singers get to you ears. Meaning you have arrived at the church. Your church is equally as noisy to the neighbours as the one in your area. But that is none of your…..
Outside, there are lots of cars parked. The Nissan terrano 11 is there, an old Datsun taxi and lots more of Opel Astras. You would one day get your own car parked there. One day is not far away, when the harvest would not proceed without your chairmanship, when the Osofo would know you by your first name and mention you in his anecdotes… ‘’I was in Atikes house and the way hugged his wife showed they have been attending my marriage seminars’’
To be continued.
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